Lighting Up the Night

Well, I went and got Warren for a couple days. He's been in  fussy baby mode, and Tam is in tired Mommy mode, so an intervention seemed like a good idea. Not to mention Mammaw here just needs the sparkle a baby can add to an abode.

You know how the babies always seem to make our house come alive.

He's got a cold. He's had this cold for a while -- since before you got sick and went away. Tam's had him to the doctor  a couple of times, she says Tylenol for fever and discomfort, and he's too small for anything else. Not too sure I agree about that -- don't they make saline nasal drops or something for babies? I used to make my own, but don't remember how any more. Something for his throat. I'd be taking him back once a week, since he's still being Cranky Baby, but that's one of those things it's easier for an outsider to say. I don't really know if Cranky Baby at home is the same as Cranky Baby at Mammaw's. The change of scenery could have amped up the fussiness. No fever, but the poor little guy is having an awful time breathing he's so stopped up.

I have to tell you, though, he's not talking much. Not sure if that's the cold, or if he's going to be a quiet person. Can't imagine where he would get that from, can you? I've brought the toys and everything into your front room, and I carefully cleaned everything off the floor so he can play. And he does, but mostly silently, which seems so odd.
He works his way around the room; toy boxes; dollhouse; busy box on wheels thing, and he plays with them all very intensely. Especially Hailey's doll house and her talking table that she has outgrown but isn't ready to let go of.
But when he gets to your chair, he sits down at the corner and he starts babbling away. It's the only time and place he has talked consistently for the two days he has been here. I wonder if it is because the chair is soft, or if he has some memory of you being in that chair, laughing and playing with and at him. You would always talk to him.
Maybe you are even there for him. I don't know.
I do know it is a marvel to me that that is where he goes to sit and to talk.

Last night it saddened me when I put him to bed, because we ended up letting him have Hailey's butterfly. Her Dream-lites butterfly, that makes the  stars on the wall and ceiling.
It made me remember that you wanted to get him his own Dream-Lites critter. You didn't want to wait for Christmas. (Did you know somewhere deep that there would be no Christmas with the kiddos for you this year?)
You wanted me to get it with the next check.
You wanted his Pappaw to give him his stars and the moon.

But the next check isn't coming, dear, and I don't see anyway to get him a dragon (or is it a turtle?) that we could name Pappaw for him.
I can see no way to do it, babe.

I know you understand that. I know you probably wish I/we had gone ahead and bought it instead of waiting for the next check. I know I do, even though that would have meant less for the necessary expenses.
Me, I understand little, since I had to let you go.

I know you understand, but it is one of my regrets that I didn't get that for you to give him.
It is one of my regrets that I see no way now to get it.

He can enjoy Hailey's for now, and when I get a job -- and I will get a job (somehow somewhere) he'll get his Rex-Dragon. (Or turtle) I promise you that.

I just don't know when.

We miss you here.
I miss you. I need someone to bitch to, and you and I could get our grouchy on in a way that would show Warren how to do it, couldn't we?
Cranky Baby, this is how it's done!

I love you.