Tracy Going to School

You have a whistle now. Nice big gaudy loud one. Tracy got it tonight as part of her initiation package at Southern State. She brought it in to me and said "Look Mom, it's the whistle you wanted."

It made my insides curdle.

I said
I didn't  want a whistle, your daddy did." 

But she left it here for me anyway to see, to look at ; too little too late

and what good would it have done anyway?

Well, you might have had a few more breaths for saying please thank you and I love you, instead of wasting them for trying to shout when no one answered your bell. Would have come in handy about now, with Christmas bells on the commercials and stuff.

Yes, she finally got herself organized enough and is all enrolled in college, like you wanted her to do when she couldn't get work anywhere. She's doing better than I am, as far as that goes. I am failing at job interviews now.

I even had to miss one today. I am so sick with a cold, and it hurts to breathe, and I can't lay down without coughing or sit up without choking. My throat s full  of sand. I am taking your OTC meds, even the Alka Seltzers(TM), because I can barely stop coughing long enough to drive anywhere. 

I did drive her to school tonight, for her orientation. And then I sat there waiting for her for hours, but It couldn't be helped at the time. I'd have to go back after her and it saved gas to wait. Doesn't really matter much to me where I put my time in anymore, since no one wants me to work for them. And I couldn't right now anyway.

Tam says Bub's standing up on his own for minutes. Looks like he'll be walking by Christmas. I'll probably be crawling cross the floors by then -- what a switcheroo, huh? That's a joke, by the way. You know how damn miserable head colds make me before I get over them. Every day I feel bad is a day closer to feeling better.

I'm trying to do what I think you would tell me to, to get better and to fee better. I sure do miss you sitting in your recliner cheering me on in my attempts to return to health, though. Tracy nor Tammy, Jeanie nor Rita, while caring about my health, could ever care the way you would have.

Me, I just want to get well. 

And not be given a whistle for you that you no longer need.